Can I get a witness?

I've spent much of my late teens and adult life attempting to avoid court. I cross at the crosswalk, refrain from selling drugs, pay way too much for cabs after a night of drinking, and always bring my shopping carts back to the return carousel. But when you are a foster parent court seems like a second home to you. A home where the lighting is dim, the decor is stale and the house guests haven't showered in days. 

Court is always nerve wracking and so much goes into it. Let me break it down for you:

• The outfit: Seriously, what to wear? You want to look cute but not too cute. You need to stand out from the low-life's who are there trying to right the wrongs of their past. God help you if you get mistaken for a defendant. You also want to appear that you aren't broke and give half a kidney a month to your student loan lender. Heels must be worn, but not too high, or too on trend. Makeup must be done, but not too done like you are hitting the club. It is a whole process. And frankly way too involved when I am already a nervous wreck.

• The walk-in: Without a doubt the bio parents will be sitting within an arms throw of the security desk. Which is always fun as you must pretend you don't see them and aren't wishing they lose custody of the amazing little one you spent your days/nights caring for. Now remember, look good while getting screened for explosives - smile but not too big as your face is huge already (theme of the blog). 

• Waiting: Who says things start on time, no one in juvenile court. Without a doubt there will be the sitting, waiting and pretending you aren't about to throw up your grande Americano with a few shakes of cinnamon. Talk weather, show pictures of their way-too-cute-to-have-come-from-them kid, look at your phone, smile, phone check again, smile, phone check, it goes on like this forever. 

• It's time: I am a cross my arms over my chest type of girl. It makes me feel better, but any manners freak will tell you it looks like you are closed off and aggressive, so I always sit demurely with my hands in my lap....which is never easy. And the hardest part, no phone for 60 minutes. I know, I almost faint from being cut off. 

• Walk-out: Without a doubt, if you are a foster parent court is never what you expect it to be. No matter what, you will be hurt in some way and it won't go in the direction any normal person would expect the world to turn. So the walk-out is always tricky. This is where I usually resort to a quick rush to the door, cover face if emotion is on it and head straight to the bar. Yesterday was definitely a double Jack & Coke type of day. 

I can't be too candid as to what actually goes on in the court room, but just know, we will fight and do what is right for the children we care for. We may not always be heard, but we do make a difference somewhere. 

So, until the next time I must appear in court - here is to getting through it without cursing, fainting or sitting next to a lawyer.