Then the buzz wore off. We weren't really going to do it, right? Good god, I hope we didn't tell anyone else about this crazy plan. Yes we did, and yes we were - I was screwed and I had a headache.
So last weekend, all my best excuses to get out of it aside, I packed a bag and a minivan, along with five great girls and hit the open road to a campsite. You see, I am not a lover of the outdoors. Sure, I can appreciate the beauty, but I like to do so from the comfort of my couch in the AC. And plus, we were camping in Southern AZ, does anyone know how hot it is in AZ right now - hot!
Regardless, it was one night, I can do anything for one night - right? No, I was wrong, I am weak, weak, weak, and can't do anything I don't like. And my friends, camping is one of them.
Let me preface this by saying the company was great - I definitely had lots of laughs and will look back on that part fondly. But let's be honest, we could have giggled and talked about sex at a 4-star resort sipping frozen drinks. We didn't need the bug spray to bring us closer.
The thing about camping I just don't get is all the work. Good god, the work! And our friend set up our tents for us - we arrived and it was already done. Sweet baby Jesus in the manger, if we had to do that, I would have b-lined for my mom mobile and hit the road.
Then the dirt, the dirt...it is everywhere. Did I mention the heat? I was sweating from places I didn't know possible. Usually the only sweating I like to do on vacation is caused by hoisting my room service tray into the hallway.
I found it shocking how everyone managed to disconnect. I was the only nut who kept looking at her phone every three minutes hoping Verizon Wireless got their act together and that cell tower suddenly began working. Now that I think about it, I don't even know if anyone had their phone on them the entire trip. I was that lunatic holding my phone up shaking my hands wildly saying things like "F, how can there be no service?" and "I can't live like this!". And yes, I did cry over the phone situation -moment of weakness and too much vodka. But I digress.
One major thing I learned about camping - time stops! Literally, it was 12:15PM for about three hours. At one point at dinner I was standing while everyone was sitting, hands on my hips and thinking it was well into the midnight hours. It was 5:30PM! That is when I said and it wasn't met with a great reception "we aren't really going to stay here, are we?" You see, all day I thought it was just a joke, get Erin out to the AZ woods (which really is a small cactus that provides no shade) and then surprise her with a wink and a nod to the van - headed back to civilization and the nearest bar. Nope, we were in it for the long, long, night.
But I survived, and there were fun times. Laughing with my friends as the $500 rented pontoon broke, being unable to hoist our sloppy selves into the boat that had no ladder, sending a friend back to fetch the vodka - and almost capsizing, swimming in the lake at sunset, s'mores and girl talk by the fire. Would I do it again? Can a really dirty, heavy under-the-tent tarp fold and clean itself? Nope!
No comments:
Post a Comment