Can I label your label?

I am an obsessive label maker. My cupboards tell me where to store my beans, q-tips are marked in pink in my linen closet, and even my pen holder at work has been branded. The best present my husband ever got me was a fancy, $100+ label maker. I cried when I opened it and show it to people more than anything in a Tiffany's box. Which coincidentally I keep on my desk to store used post-its in (before recycling). 

However, I hate to be labeled. And as foster parents that is something we must deal with all the time. I find it insane. It is 2014 for goodness sakes (even though I still feel like the 90s was a decade ago, but that is beside the point). Just yesterday at the grocery store the clerk asked if my three African American/Hispanic children were mine? And she then remarked about how she thought Derek was "just my new boyfriend". Seriously, do I have to discuss my procreation with someone bagging my kale? 

I have been asked if I was infertile, a teen-mom, watching them for someone else, etc. The list goes on and on. I know many people who have adopted, families are more blended then ever - so why do these stupid comments make it into my day-to-day life? 

One of the hardest things for me as an FP (other than the thought of saying goodbye), is the labeling. Every time you call to make a doctor's appointment, "I am the foster mother", or the in-person, "and you are?" question. I feel like I have to constantly validate my role in my children's lives. Even our family members have asked "and what do they call you?" I am there mother, Derek is their father - that is who we are. 

Just last week I received a text reminding me to make a dental appointment for our former foster son. He has moved to VA, nearly a year ago, but the text still brought me to my knees. You go from being their parent, their all, their everything to nothing. I never hear from some of our former kiddos. And when I do talk to our former son, it is just strange. As we are no longer there, and the label of parent has been removed. 

One thing I wish, what people take for granted, is the sharing of pictures. My kids are damn cute and they have a wardrobe that a Kardashian would envy - and I can't show them off. They live in the shadows of back-of-the-head shots and boxes over their face. 

People label us, we label them, and they continue to be held back from being normal children, with normal happy/silly/awkward pictures of themselves shared for the world to see. They have been labeled as foster children, identity confidential. But really, they are just kids. They have big smiles, wide eyes and huge hearts. And I label them perfectly adorable.